How to Talk About Poker With Your Friends and Family

Poker is the most popular card game ever created and that immense popularity managed to bleed into popular culture, making almost everyone aware of the game. Unfortunately, said awareness usually doesn't run very deep.

While your friend or little brother might know that poker is a card game played with real money and your dad might have played a few hands of five card draw back in the day, there are still a lot of myths surrounding the game, perpetuated by the popular works of fiction. The average person might not see the difference between poker and other games played in the casino setting and therefore talking about poker with your loved ones can often be difficult.

While we see our favorite game as a skill-based way of stimulating the mind - and hopefully making some money in the process - our friends and loved ones might see poker as something potentially dangerous. Communication is very complicated so in this article we'll explore a few ideas that might help you figure out how to talk about poker with your friends and family.

Should You Talk With Your Friend and Family About Poker?

The answer to this question depends on two major factors: how serious are you about playing cards and how vital that information is to a specific member of your friends and family group? For example, you might want to inform your parents about the fact that poker is your main source of income, but this doesn't really apply to an aunt that you see once a year on holidays.

Similarly, if you spend an hour a day playing NL2 cash games and another 30 minute or so reading poker forums there's probably no harm in keeping your hobby to yourself. Relationships are complicated and every situation is different, but when in doubt you can always fall back on two factors mentioned above when contemplating the decision to talk about poker with your family or friends. Gauge your loved one's acceptance of poker.

Prepare Yourself

Preparation is key. Depending on their personality some members of your friends and family group will be more susceptible to rational arguments while others might be more emotional. Some of them might see poker as something normal while other might view it as addictive and destructive based on their limited information on the subject.

"Poker as a game of skill" argument might appeal to your computer savvy friend, but it will probably fall flat when taking with your concerned grandparents. Ask yourself what poker means to you? If you're an amateur enthusiast or your talking with someone who relies on their emotions in communication, you might want to emphasize the fact that poker taught you to always be mindful of the odds, showed you how flawed our minds are, and that variance plays a huge part in all walks of life.

If you're a professional poker player and/or you're in a conversation with someone who reacts well to rational arguments you should probably explain how player vs. player structure of poker makes it possible to gain an edge and win in the long run, you should mention the idea of bankroll management and point out the similarities between the world of poker and investing.

Define Your Expectations

Make sure you know what your expectations are. While you might live with the fact that your grandpa won't approve of your "potentially dangerous" but ultimately harmless hobby it's rather vital that your significant other accepts the fact that poker is your main source of income. This is why it's so important to decide beforehand if raising the subject of poker has merit and how you should go about it. Remember that acceptance is a process and it takes time.

Be patient and realize that it might take some time before your friend or family member starts seeing the game the same way you do.

The Talk

To put it bluntly, don't beat around the bush. Start the conversation by declaring that you play poker and give the reasons why it's important to you (fun hobby, a second source of income, full-time job etc.).

Don't treat it as something shameful because it isn't, but understand the fact that not everyone will see it that way. Give the person you're talking to a chance to react and calmly address their concerns. Here's where the preparations you've made beforehand comes into play. Now is the time to dispel some of the myths the person you're talking to might bring up.

If your parent sees poker as something risky explain why poker can be a +EV game in the long run, how you minimize the risk by using a bankroll management strategy, how variance affect other walks of life in a similar fashion (private businesses have a very similar rate of success to poker players with 8-9 out of 10 losing money etc.). If your friend is concerned that you might fall with the wrong crowd explain how nowadays poker is mostly played online or in a highly professional context of a casino etc.

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