CycleVancouver

So I've mentioned in passing that my health ain't good. And by the end of last week I was having one of those, “It's so bad, I'm ready to spontaneously combust” moments. Well, in another thread I mentioned I'm going to Vegas in August for a bachelor party, and I just booked my flight. Which got me clicking on a link, which led to another, which led to me asking, “Remind me again why I'm here and not there?” So rather than spontaneously combust, I decided on merely spontaneous, and booked 4 nights in Vegas baby, Vegas. Air plus hotel (Harrah's) was just $430 USD. They're practically giving it away, it's as if they think I'm some sort of degenerate who will spend a bunch of money while I'm there. Where do they get these ideas? (Note to self: get a Twitter account and call it “DoritosAndBlow”.)

So the goal of the trip is a much needed vacation, a bit of poolside, a quiet pint or two, and a couple of good books: Stumbling on Happiness, nonfiction by Daniel Gilbert (which I've read before, highly recommended), and finishing Les Miserables, which I read a million years ago when I was in my 20s. I'm sure I'll play some poker as well, but really if I lose a couple of bucks it's no big deal, it's not about the money...MWAHAHAHA omg Cycle you're so funny, you crack me up sometimes. While the moneyz for this trip is coming out of my live bankroll, I still would like the trip to pay for itself (not counting the helicopter over the Grand Canyon...details upcoming), which is actually a modest goal, aiming for $450 profit over a couple of days. OFC there's variance so I accept that making the right play is more important...more rotf, stop it Cycle, you're killing me.

Gonna focus on cash games, though the Venetian next door has $250 MTTs running nightly, and I might enter one for kicks. 15 min blinds make it like an expensive turbo, which I kinda hate, so in this case I really am accepting that variance will factor in here, and this one's just a punt. Where I'm staying runs $60 donkaments 4x/day, but I'm not making this up, rake is 33%. I'll only enter one of them if the field looks too good to pass up, or if there's overlay because there's zero % chance I can pass up overlay.

Believe it or not, I actually am a wee bit nervous about keeping a trip report (TR). I'm generally a private guy, I don't even FB never mind blog, plus there's the whole, “What if I donk off a grand? Or two?” fear. I'm slowly working my way through Tendler's book, and one of the leaks I'm working on is perfectionism. Poker really has taught me a number of lessons that improve my whole life, and taking more risks and being more comfortable with failure is a pretty big one. There's zero threat that I'll become a “life LAGtard”, but a bit less nit is a good thing for me. So this TR will help serve that purpose. Plus I've only had a smartphone for about 2 months, and I'm not even sure how to upload photos yet, so add that to the 'lessons I need to learn' list.

Last Post 8 years ago by

thetallpaul

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Day 0

I leave tomorrow, so today is Day Zero. Started normal, though this is still kind of a “new normal” for me. Last night I didn't leave the casino til 2AM, and leaving that table, with one beautifully horrible player who had donked his way to a $1500 stack, my god it was one of the hardest/worst poker decisions of my life. I'm going to have nightmares about not getting that stack for weeks. Anyway, bleary-eyed, I moseyed over to the coffee shop to input my hands from this week's sessions. (Secret to my success: get dealt aces, overbet vs the guy I mentioned above, fade his FD, stack chips.) Then went to the bank to make a deposit of Canuck bucks and get some Amerikan fascist dollars. Trump's picture on them coming soon! It's kind of shocking how I've become used to having a wad of hundreds in my pocket. My motto: Have 2 bullets, will travel. The rest of the day will be packing, resting the legs, and watching my basketball team fuck the dog in a do-or-die playoff game.

I'll prob post nightly, though in Vegas, I'm not actually sure what hours of the day constitute the night. But I can't sit at the table all day, right? Maybe? Anyhoo, thanks for joining me on the trip, and may the odds be ever in your favour.

IN! Have fun!

This sums up all my feels. Words cannot feel my feels about this.

haha yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Buzzing to follow this....MAKE US JEALOUS

DAY 1

My flight departs from the States, small town just south of the border where charter flights are cheap, so we needs some driving music. Let's get this party started right, shall we?

My head's bumpin to the music, sittin' at a light, when the song says, “By half past ten your head was going ding-dong,” and I look at the clock...and it's half past ten! OMG FATE.

Get to the border, big ol' Peace Arch Memorial, to remember when Americans and Canadians finally agreeing to stop killing each other back in the day, and concentrate on doing what they did best, namely, killing Native Americans.

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Even though I have a card that's supposed to get me thru the border faster, 25 min later and I'm still there. First a long line for no good reason, then I get some patriotic keener gonna keep 'Murica safe. The tl;dr of Cycle's life is this: born in the USA, left 10 years ago, and then formally renounced my US citizenship. I've been screaming about fascism since 2000...anyway, the border is supposed to be a 30 second affair, but Officer Border Asshat has my record in front of him so he's giving me the 3rd degree, dozens of questions, and keeps typing more shit into his computer.

“Why are you going to Vegas?” “Why do you think? I'm a degenerate gambler.”
“What are you bringing with you?” “It's Vegas, what the fuck you think I'm bringing with me? A toothbrush, a big-ass dick, and enough hundreds to buy everyone in your trailer park new shoes.” *

* Slight possibility this has been edited for dramatic effect.

I finally get through, and I swear to god I've been saying this for years: If the FBI obtained the evidence illegally, then they can't admit they have it, right? (Cycle's got some history, kids. Stories for around the campfire someday.) Fuck these people, really. Their economy is in shambles, their politics are fucked, but they won't take my money? Seriously.

Finally through the border, I need to cleanse myself (as well as make up for lost time). This calls for a new CD:

Quick detour at Trader Joe's, an affordable yet yuppie grocery store, for some supplies. There's no minifridge in the hotel, cuz Vegas will do ANYthing to separate you from your money, but I pick up some hummus, pitas, fruit, etc for snacks. On the way back, I'll stock up to the tune of hundreds of dollars of groceries: cross-border shopping is more Canadian than even hockey.

Airport is a landing strip and an outhouse, basically. But it's nice enough, and obv has the same graduates of Keener Asshat Academy, and my carry-on is flagged cuz the peanut butter I bought is too big, and they're gonna confiscate it! Fuckin' Panama Papers showed that the world economy is being stolen, every week USA cops shoot another unarmed black man, and it's my fuckin' organic peanut butter that's the issue. (Thank GOD I didn't buy the almond butter. A bet saved is a bet earned, kids.)

Plane's here. See you on the flip side. Vegas baby, vegas!

DAY 1B

When I left Lotusland (Vancouver), the forecast was 16 and rainy. Vegas is 32 and sunny, which means that my life has just improved 100%. That's just MATH.

Catch the hotel shuttle just as it's pulling out, so I get the passenger seat and a view of The Strip as it comes. Pretty cool, since it's nothing like what I remember. (I was here 20 years ago, and well, I was drunk pretty much the whole time, so yeah, it looks different.) My hotel is 3rd on the drop-off list, so I get to see that at least in my neck of the woods, the hotels are really all right on top of each other, with outdoor malls between them. Shops, restaurants, etc. I seriously have NO memory of this! Though I did get to see the fountain that back in the day Uriah threw me in, at Ceaser's. This was before I accidentally chipped his tooth with a beer bottle. Ah, good times, but like Slim Charles said,

Anyway, throughout this TR I'll pass on some Tips and Advice that I learn. Naturally I have to call this

Cycle's T&A #1: when you get some American dollars, make sure to get lots of singles. I know some of y'all are English, but 'round here, tipping a buck or two is the thing to do. Shuttle driver, cleaning ladies, etc. When in Rome.....

Check in, the room is fine, clean but as basic as you can get. No fridge, no coffee pot, what-evs. Won't be here much.

Wander around the Strip. I'm at Harrah's and like I said, it's basically connected to Ceaser's, the Linq, couple of others. I did snap some photos but the sun was going down so none really turned out well. I'll photobomb in a day or two.

Grabbed a beer in the sportsbook to watch the last quarter of the NBA playoffs, soaked in the tub (weary legs), now I'm noshing on hummus and accoutrements. There's a rumor that this place has a poker room, methinks I'll have to check it out....

Thanks for sharing your trip with us

@CycleVancouver ! Hope you have a great time and best of luck!

Can we:

1. Get pictures in this thread
2. Have a whip round to get you enough money for you to get a classy girl from the hotel lobby around 3am.
3. Get some pics!

You can take the Harv out of Thailand but you can't take the Pattaya out of the Harv!

Seriously though, chip stack pics at least, if not classy ladies.

DAY 1C

So last night I wandered to the 3 poker rooms here in the Caeser's compleq (Link, C. Palace, and Harrah's). Linq was a joke, 1 table of 1/1, and the cards looked like something you'd get from a dollar store. CP had 4 tables going, back at my place Harrah's, 10PM, and they're just starting a 2nd table. I was totally shocked at so little action, back home there are waiting lists 30 deeps at all 5 local casinos every evening. Anyway, played for just 2 hours. Lost a BI ($300), which isn't really much of anything. No seriously interesting hands, I got aggro with AK, 2 overs plus BD's but was up against JT for TP+FD, so she was going nowhere. Other hand was KK vs QJs, he flopped it while I again had the BD but no dice. I've won something sick like 11 of my last 13 live sessions, so I knew I was due to have a couple big hands not hold up.

Speaking of which, I watched some craps for a bit. A full table needs 4 croupiers, there are like 8 million chips on the table, and I think it's the law that every craps table needs one loud Texan at it. I can see the game being fun with a group, you basically get to yell a lot and gamble just $5 if you want.

I asked around on the other poker forum, they have a lot of people who live in LV, and apparently, I'll need to go to Aria, Bellagio, or Venetian if I want to get some bigger poker rooms. Which I do!

Day 2A

So I have pretty serious pain in my legs, and predictably, I was so excited to be here yesterday that I way overdid it. I couldn't fall asleep last night d/t the pain, so I'm operating on just a few hours sleep and a LOT of coffee.

Cycle's T&A 2: Don't look at the prices, just buy it. My god, a latte was $6, and that's USD. So Canadians, definitely don't do the math to figure out how much that is in Canuckbucks. Just close your eyes and enter your PIN when they tell you to.

Weather variance: forecast was 30s and sunny for the whole trip, but today is in the teens and cloudy. Cycle wanted poolside! Instead I used the chance to catch up on Skype with a couple of overseas friends; after all, I am on vacation, not a sprint. I also researched and booked my helicopter tour (Thurs) and also a Cirque show (tonight).

T&A 3: All these places that advertise discount tickets, from what I can tell, it's all BS, and you can get the same deals booking yourself direct. So don't waste your time.

@CrazyKeri Thanks for the kind words, and yeah, I'd like some luck tonight too!

@thetallpaul I've never been a chip stack photo guy, though I've never been to Vegas.

But at home I routinely have over $800 in front of me, so I just don't get too excited about it. But if I enter a tourney and run hot, I will snap one or two.

@Harvie Photos coming as promised. And if you want to help me with the classy girl, I'll go with it, strictly for YOUR pleasure, mind you.

Though I prefer nerdy over classy, and idk if Vegas is the right place to look for librarians.

Tonight's plan is din while watching the first half of the NBA game, where my hoops team (Toronto Raptors) will get crushed by Lebron James. Then the Cirque show Mystere (I dropped over $100 for the best seat available, like 6th row or something), and then as long as my legs are still OK, swing by the Venetain for this card game I heard about....

Day 2B: Review of Cirque's “Mystere”

I've never seen a Cirque show before, and all I can say is,

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

There are few things in life that live up to the hype, but holy sheet does Cirque deliver. I could go on for a week and not be able to get to even half of how awesome the show is. There were parts when I was tearing up, and not cuz it's sad or emotional or anything, it was just so amazing. They get essentially every single detail right. There's no way that still photos can capture the show, so I'll embed a youtube link, but I have to say that the video doesn't even come close to doing the show justice:

My seats were 5th row, centre stage. BALLER. It's a small enough theatre that prob any seat is decent, but I'm glad I ponied up for the good seats. And for those of you who like your entertainment delivered by hot bods, I promise you, you will not find more ripped actors anywhere, ever. The feats they perform are just outstanding. Amazing. It really is everything it is cracked up to be. If you learn anything from Cycle, let it be this: Position is the most important factor in any hand, especially when playing deep. But enough about my sex life...wait, what? Where was I again? Oh right, if you learn anything from Cycle, let it be this: If there is a Cirque show within 100 miles of where you are, and you don't go see it, then you have major leaks in your game.

OK I gots a problem here. I can't just link photos from my google album? Preview keeps saying img is not available. But when I d/l them to my comp and then try to insert, they're too big for VIP. I need some help guys!

in the meantime I'm gonna go catch some sun. Will do the photos and more TR once I know how to u/l the pics.

I usually upload to them to Imgur and then link them.

I like this thread.

Cirque is just fantastic. I have seen a fair few of them and even from like 7 years ago which the version of may not even exist anymore.

These guys are one well oiled machine and just full of talent.

I like this thread also

@MinerBoy23

There are Roman statues EVERYwhere. One of many in front of CP:

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And from the Venetian. Harrah's, CP, Mirage in background

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These buggies are for rent. I bet they'd be a blast on a track, but the Strip is so bogged down with traffic, so idk about the value of a city rental.

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DAY 2 post-Cirque

The show was at Treasure Island, and I heard they have a poker room here. Funny how that happens! Anyway, I wander through the casino til I find it, but again, just one table of old guys limping pre. What-evs.

The poker room is next to the buffet (every casino has one), and in addition to all you can eat, this one offered $12 all the alcohol you can drink on top. Well Cycle needed to use the loo, and let me tell you, it looked like at least a couple bros had more buffet than was good for them. So gross.

So I get out of TI, and Vegas is lit up in all its nighttime glory. Swing by the Wynn, which I've heard has a decent poker room. Well, the hotel is the swankest of any I've seen ainec. The shops are a roll-call of the top brands: Rolex, Dior, etc. The casino floor is the most spacious and cleanest I've seen yet. The decor is smashing. Worth a visit just to check it out. But the poker room is a bit disappointing, only about 5 tables, super quiet. WTF????

So I'm wondering if I really want to play poker, or what is it I want? Will I ever become a degenerate? Deep thoughts. Anyway, thinking about all this as I take the 5 min stroll out (these places are huge), and I step outside to a light show. You've got fountains, lights, and Sinatra on the loudspeakers; seriously kids, not playing poker there was total +EV.

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Hang at the show for about 15 min, then wander back to the Venetian, one of the rooms that's supposed to have some action. It does, the room is huge as they host decent sized MTTs. Photos aren't allowed in casinos (mostly), so no pics from inside. Check in with the brush, and tell her I'll be back as soon as I get what I've been NEEDING for about 3 days: a hot fudge sundae. Wander til I find a Ben and Jerry's, order one up with coffee ice cream, and no food porn photos, as I demolished it before I even had time to think.

Cycle's T&A: Don't eat five days worth of sugar in under 10 minutes.

Didn't actually puke, but tummy def feeling queasy, oh but it was sooo good. Anyway, take a seat on the steps at the Venetian, and just soak in the evening. Decide I'm all good, the day isn't likely to get better even with poker, so I call it a night.

Day 3: My goodness, the days are kinda starting to blur. This was just yesterday, and I'm already not sure what happened! Slept in, went to the pool but lasted maybe 30 min? Over 30 degrees, just a scorcher. And 2 laps in the pool did me in.

Cycle's T&A to himself: Exercise more and I'll have less T&A.

More T&A: Ask staff everything. The Starbucks in the lobby, right by the elevators, in the mornings the line is 15 deep. So I asked at the gift shop for another option, and they told me there's another Starbucks just upstairs, and I've yet to have to wait to get a coffee. (This one is next to Toby Keith's bar and grille and Country Girls Topless Revue....smdh Vegas.)

Post-lunch, wandered in the other direction from my hotel, towards Bellagio, and you know what I found when I got there? A real poker room! Like, this is what we tourists expect. Multiple tables, way too much air conditioning, other tourists who are there to enjoy themselves. Finally!

I played about 3 hours in the afternoon, some Germans and an Austrian at my table were cool, and one of the dealers was about to blow up, trying to enforce English-only rules, even when they weren't in a hand. I stuck up for them cuz if they're not in a hand, who cares? Plus they were friendly and not good at poker, that's all I want in life.

I got a brief glimpse of Doyle on his scooter. He plays most days in Bobby's Room, a semi-private rich boys area. I never saw more than 4 players in there; it looked like they were playing OFC when 3-handed. I heard someone tried to take a selfie with Doyle the day before and he blew up, so I'll just give you this photo instead:

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I left down 8 bucks, I was hungry plus way too cold. Din at a pub called The Tilted Kilt, which if you know what Hooters is, this place is Hooters but with kilts. But I SWEAR I only went there to watch the basketball game! You boys can find your own photos of the place; all I will say is, for Seinfeld fans, “They're real, and they're spectacular.”

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