A friend of mine is going to a stag later this month, and at some point there'll be a poker game. So after my personal record-setting Friday, it's a great time to launch my career as a poker coach. Sat evening, I pass on making more money at the puzzle factory and head over to his place to visit the niece and nephews and show him the ropes. This could be bigger than any EPT tour stop! Here's the overhead shot of the Final Table.




For the record, he's drinking IPA in a can which is fucking embarrassing. Beer in a can smdh. I on the other hand am a purist, which is why I'm drinking Passionfruit Ale from a brandy snifter.

I brought over a punched deck of casino cards, while my buddy (who doesn't want his name used but asked to be called Donkey Jote) loads up the "hand values" chart on his phone. Yes Donkey, three of a kind beats two pair. Oh dear. But I didn't think about chips. So we improvise and use plastic kids' toys, just like Doyle and Amarillo Slim did back in the day, no doubt.




Yes, we did actually differentiate amounts: potato chips=1, pretzels=2, chocolate bars=5, cookies=10. In retrospect the chocolate should have been worth more.

First hand, Cycle's hot weekend continues:




I flop NFD, turn the nuts, punish accordingly. Don't fuck with Cycle, not this weekend, not ever. He always has it.

Moving on, Donkey limps the button with K2s, and I check with rags. Flop check-check, turn I have 6h and lead for a pretzel. Donkey folds, and we're showing each other our hands so we can talk about what to do. He shows




Yes Donkey, you just folded a flush. Oh dear.

Final hand of the game, I flop the straight and (stop me if you've heard this before) punish accordingly. Donkey called my shove ott with...really idk what. We need to work on his board reading skills. His post-hand analysis, however, was spot on.




I will now open the application process for prospective students.