Hi everybody,
Ive not gone missing or gone bust, just haven't played for the last week or so. The reason being is after a long fight with cancer my dad passed away on the 21st September. I was gutted I was planning to go see him on that day and he passed in the early hours so didnt get to see him one last time.
Its funny, you know its going to happen and you think your prepared for it, but when the time comes it still kicks you right in the bollocks. One minute I am fine next thing you know something pops in your head, then the emotions kick in.
Cancer is a horrible disease for the last few months my dad deteriorated at an alarming speed. One day I saw him and he was in his arm chair watching Sky Sports, then less than a week later I could barely recognise him lying in bed unable to move. It broke my heart seeing his body just disappear while his mind was still sharp, and when it got to the point I could lift him up in my arms as if he was just a doll I knew it wouldn't be long. He didnt even look like my dad when he passed he had lost that much weight, and seeing him in the Chapel of Rest just done me right up, Im ot one for crying but I did that day.
Im not going to go into the whole euthanasia debate, but I can see why people do it. Its horrible when you see a loved one like that and all they keep saying is I wish it was over. What do you say to that??
Anyway, sorry, enough of the depressing stuff!!
My dad was a great man, he had many problems with alcohol when he was younger and it cost him his marriage to my mum and his two kids. He then joined AA and was clean and sober for 30 years even tho he still referred to himself as an alcoholic. He put on loads of fundraising events for them and over the years raised thousands for them. He helped anyone he could who had problems, I even remember as a kid a well known celebrity at the time, who I wont mention, being in contact with my dad and them having loads of chats about drink, etc and my dad helped him through his problems. This was the sort of man he was he had nothing to give only kind words and advice and would talk to anyone.
I spent every summer holidays and Christmas at my dads and I thank my mum for doing this. She would put me on a train to London and I wouldn't see her for 6 weeks in Summer, then all of Christmas, and she never once complained. I never actually had spent a Christmas with my mum till I was 17 and she never complained once about it, amazing woman as I have had many fights with my daughters mum just to be able to see her for a weekend, and as any parent here knows its horrible not seeing your kids.
I have so many great memories of my dad, he would take us down every year to Clacton and we would stay in a horrible little caravan but for 2 weeks that was home and we had great times there going down to the fun fair at the pier. He took me to more West Ham games than I can remember and when we went we went in style!! If the game started at 3pm we would be there at 12 having a drink in the players bar followed by 3 course dinner in their restaurant, mingling with minor celebs, then watch the match from the executive box. One game I sat next to Mark Fowler from Eastenders but didn't at the time have a clue who he was!!
He even give me the opportunity to be the mascot for a game. So on April 1st 1991 I got to run on the pitch with the whole team and shoot the ball at the great Ludo Miklosko, the best ever Hammers keeper. It was a great day I got to meet the whole team before the match in the dressing room collecting their autographs and chatting to them. We played Barnsley at home and went on to win the match 3-1. One of the greatest days of my life so for that one memory alone I thank you Dad!!
I could give you a million good memory stories but would be here all day!!
The funeral is on Monday and I am dreading it but I will have my beautiful daughter and girlfriend by my side, who have been great, to get me through it. So a big thank you to them and a bigger thank you to my brother Liam for arranging everything, he is a bigger man than me because I wouldn't be able to do it.
Thanks for reading this and Im sorry if i have depressed anyone but enjoy life and if you see your family tell them you love them!!
Peace
Sunny
RIP my Dad, the Great WJ aka Daddy Cool
Love you always X