Hey Chris,

I've been lucky enough to be pretty strict in my life, I think that had a lot to do with my upbringing so I've been very good with self control. I do know of others who have similar issues with gambling and continually getting themselves into debt.

My biggest hurdle was probably poker, I know I got addicted to it once to the point where I didn't socialize with friends to play and stayed at home days at a time just to grind. Maybe it was naivety because I was young, I dunno.


As for your drinking, do you have friends or groups for support, for me talking to others about my problems helps me out a lot.

Good thread though!

Yo,

When I was 18 I drank myself into oblivion and lost all the money I had earnt from my first business whilst doing some other dumb shit #demonwheel. I went to talk to some professionals and basically got it under control but I still do drink and now I would say I do not have a problem but can deffs get into a routine of having 3-4 beers a night. Which for some is normal but for me the issue here is my weight so that's the reason why this is no good for me!

I kinda disagree on the we shouldn't play poker for money comment as it all comes down to the individual person.....Would i put in the 10million hands of poker I have over the last 10 years if there was no financial reward? NO. Did I love playing all the way? NO. But it is kinda like saying don't work if you don't like your job but sometimes that is the only option and sometimes the reward can outweigh the happiness of actually doing it....at least in the short term.

What sort of quantities do you drink?

I made some pretty drastic changes in my life going back around 18 months ago , i started working out two or three times a week for the first time in my life, and gave up smoking and greatly reduced what i was drinking and how often . The amount i used to drink i guess would be 15-20 pints or so and id also get through half a bottle of rum as'well , i never really kept count , now i tend to go for a much more mellow 4 or 5 pints and a game of pool and darts down the local every few weeks. But occasionally as you do it ends up with far more than 4 or 5 and ill go on a mad binge , not good for me as i have had some pretty serious health issues in the past because of it. I also had to shed a few pounds Jon so i know where your coming from there, not that much but i think i lost around three stone and almost shed the beer belly now.

I just took up a'lot of other outside interests like fishing metal detecting and have an allotment which is lovely to spend time on especially in the nice weather. Things i just had no interest in before when i was younger. It's also nice to spend the money saved on a holiday every now and then "major bonus". Fortunately i do have a close family and some decent friends who's main interests isn't the pub so that helps a'lot. The circle of people i associate with has definitely changed over the years.

I agree with you Jon the financial rewards of what you do in life are important , but poker unlike a job is usually a side hobby for most where the financial rewards aren't the main reason for getting involved. Usually the realization of making a living from poker comes to people that the financial rewards are much better than they can achieve else where working ,so they decide to put full effort into it. So i guess what i mean is the rewards only come through success , rather than thinking i want to play to make money from the start. If that makes sense. Some just pick it up quickly and the light bulb goes off that hey i can make a living from this or some decent side money to subsidize their lives.

Cheers for the replies, i wasn't sure how the thread would go down tbh ,i was just interested in other peoples stories and the best way to find out was to tell a little about my own.

Cheers ,Chris.

Kudos to you @LFCchris

My demons are...

- Anxiety
- Confidence

My escapes are work, poker and writing, things I can focus on with a passion.

I would elaborate on that but my demons are telling me not to! Nice idea for a thread though

@LFCchris While sharing is, in fact, beneficial and I'm glad you posted this thread it's really hard to deal with physical addictions on your own (be it food, alcohol, sex etc.). I'm happy to hear that you're better, but if things get worse I'd like to assure you that there is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help.

As for the topic of poker and money... I don't think it's that clear cut unless we're looking at the problem in isolation which is rarely optimal. Here's what I mean by that - I think some people can be successful playing poker exclusively for money as long as their life is balanced enough to include something that gives one a sense of mastery (be it writing, playing a musical instrument of what have you). I believe that we severely overhyped the idea of individualism, we're almost pressure to feel like we have to find this one thing, the ultimate passion, something that will forever solve the problem of motivation and fulfill us. This pursuit makes many of us unhappy since it is ultimately unrealistic. While something like 'it's about the journey, not the destination' might sound a bit cliche it is much closer to the truth than the idea of this singular thing that kicks you into the 'and he/she lived happily ever after' mode.

I suppose we all have our inner demons. Mine are pretty much the same with Keri. In the next august I am actually going to Peru and drink ayahuasca with a local shaman to take a deeper look into myself. It is a very unorthodox way for us western people, but who cares. It is like going to meditation retreat, middle of the amazonian rainforest.

@LFCchris , I suggest that you seek professional help. It is not easy, but there is no shame in this. It is an act that deserve a lot of respect. You do not have to deal with your struggles on your own. I am very glad that you have gave up smoking and started to work out! It will really boost your self confidence and it will give you something to fill that hole you are used to fill with alcohol. I believe that addictions are a way to escape the pain and suffering. Most of time alcoholics and drug addicts are very sensitive people who have problems with coping the difficult feelings like sadness. Many times the pain comes from the childhood. It is well researched fact that people who have addiction problems also have parents who have some form of addiction or mental health problems. In Finland alcoholism is a huge problem and I believen that there is a link between that collective trauma and world war II. The people who fought in the war were traumatized, and they were never treated. Many veterans got drinking and mental healt problems, and that affected on how they raised their own children. This chain still goes on. My own parents were alcoholics, and they can´t drink a single drink. Never. One drink, and they continue drinking for weeks. This is the best sign of alcoholism: total lack of control.

The hardest part in healing is that we have to take a close look to our self, and we will see the things we do not want to see and what we are trying to escape. We all try to avoid suffering and pain, and we are ready to do what ever it takes to run away. It is not weakness, it is a part of human nature. The healing begins when there is no place to escape anymore. Looks like you are approaching that point @LFCchris , which is actualy good news!

Some good advice there @TrueFriend - And very interesting about your planned trip to the Amazon, do you have any more info on that out of curiosity?

Very true what you said about alcoholism, I feel myself I could quite easily become an alcoholic if I am not careful. I only drink once maybe twice a week but I tend to binge when I do and I just love to have a drink, its fun and I enjoy it. I feel like I have enough control that I won't ever go over the edge, but its so easy to do in this culture. I went a month without any just recently, drinking tons of water and I felt really great, but now I am back to once/twice per week for no other reason then I just enjoy it.

As for anxiety, I am kind of 80/20. Most of the time I am fine and I enjoy being me and am content. But sometimes I can't help but worry what others think. My main anxiety issues stem from wanting to be liked/accepted i think, like I don't ever worry about money and more general life stuff, never really, I am pretty chilled in that sense. But when something happens that makes me anxious, that then has a butterfly effect on my confidence from even the smallest thing. Really when I think about it all and think back to those moments of anxiety its pretty laughable, why do I even care? I honestly don't know.

A very good doctor recommended to me recently that I read this book. Its an introduction to cognitive-behavioral therapy. I haven't read it yet, but I will and maybe it could help some others here with similar issues.

@CrazyKeri I am going to see a local indian curandero(healer) named Juan Tangoa Paima who lives in Iquitos. Iquitos is a town in the middle of the jungle. You can go there only by flying or by the boat. I will spend there three months and study the ancient knowledge of the healing plants of Amazon. This is my passion more than anything else. I have also been really interested in animals and nature since I was a child, and my dream has always been that one day I can go to Amazon and see all kind of animals and plants there. It will be so exciting! It will also greatly balance my life because right now I do just three things: go work, study/play poker or exercise. This is no good in the long run, but for now it is okay.

About anxiety, I believe that it should be treated as a friend. After all, it is just different sensations in your body and it can not hurt you. Anxiety is also something that drives us forward. It is maybe little unpleasant, but still necessary. In general our feelings are never problem. The problem arises when we react to them in unhealty way and try to get rid of them at any cost.

Very true that

I find that really interesting about the Amazon. I too have always had a love for animals/nature. When I was at school I done a work experience at a place called The Amazon Jungle Zoo, it was this mini rainforest type place with monkeys, baby crocs, iguanas, all sorts, it was amazing.I spent about two weeks in this little rain forest feeding the animals etc and loved every second of it.

Going to the Amazon rainforest is probably my number 1 thing to do before I die and what you are doing, I would love to do something similar. I would be very interested to know how that goes for you when you do it, so if you remember please post about it or PM me

Of course I will remember :)!